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Questions & Quotes

Here we go again! More "jewels" from the "mouths of babes"! This page is a hodge-podge of memorable questions, quotes, etc. that I have heard in my years of teaching! So get you a cup of coffee or tea, grab an easy chair, and prepare to laugh! If you have any memorable questions or quotes from a child you know, please send them to me! This page is new and a little bare right now, so I need some help! (I knew that I should have written those things down!) :)

In a discussion of Native Americans, we were discussing how animal hides were hung up to dry to be used in a variety of ways. One of my students raised her hand and very seriously said, "My daddy hangs sheetrock!"
When trying unsuccessfully to put on his tennis shoes, one of my boys said, "My elbows are too big for these shoes!" (of course, he meant his heels!)
"So your name is Mrs. O'Briant?" "Yes." "So, what's your husband's name? Mr. Mrs. O'Briant?"
My husband really liked it when he visited the classroom and one of my darlings asked me, "Is that your daddy?"
Arriving home after her first day in kindergarten, Laura was totally disgusted! "Mom, we don't have any homework and we didn't learn how to read today!" A totally wasted day for her!! :)
Val sent this wonderful :) quote to me:
After a discussion about family celebrations, I noticed one of my preschool children raising his hand high into the air. With a very serious tone of voice, he said "My family believes in a special time called Lent. You know, that fuzzy stuff in your dryer."
Jarrett is a 4-year-old grandson of the lady that sent this to me! Here's what she says about Jarrett!

I teach preschool and my daughter used to teach preschool also. She has a 4 year degree in education but chose to stay home with her children age 4 and 2. She enjoys helping the 4 year old develop computer skills, read lots of books and visit the library for story hour. One day he kept asking my daughter when they were going to visit their friend, Ann, again. She told him she was sorry but she just didn't know who he was talking about. She couldn't remember anyone named Ann that they had visited. He said, " You know her! Library Ann, who reads me all the books when we go to the library" (librarian) :)

Also: He was looking out the bay window early one morning and asked his mother, "Mommy, why does the grass look wet?" She replied, "It's dew." With and exasperated tone he replied, "O.K., why DO the grass look wet," ( My daughter has a 4 yr. degree in education, K-8. and does tend to correct his grammar a little too often.)
Anne sent me this one:
I was pregnant of my second (15 years ago) and my sister in law Annelies was pregnant with her first. I thought it was time to tell my 3 year old a little about the birds and the bees. I tried to explain it to him in a simple way and didn't make it to heavy for him. I told him that mommy and daddy hugged and kissed and held each other, and then something started growing in my belly. I really thought a did a good job, when I asked him whether he had any questions, because he said "no" and shook his little head. But that same day he came to me with a question. "Did daddy do all this to Annelies too?". :) This one is still being told in the family whenever we talk about babies and stuff. This little boy is now 18 years old and got his Highschool diploma last tuesday. After the summer he will enter the Academy for Drama.
Jeanne, my dear friend, sent me this cute one!!

One of our friends is a school teacher Grade one this year. She said on the first day of school after the morning had passed one little boy went to the back and got his coat. She said, "Honey, where are you going?" He said, "Well the morning is over and it is now time to go home." She said, "That was last year in kindergarten. This is Grade One now and you stay all day." With a bewildered look, he said, "No one asked my permission to sign up for this.!" Out of the mouths of babes!
Nadine sent me these wonderful true stories!! Thanks, Nadine!

My kindergarten class was having a very serious discussion about wishes. When I asked how to make wishes come true, Kareem answered, "Blow out the candles." When Larissa said that her wish was to be a mommy and have many children I explained that this was a dream and that one day when she was older this could come true. I asked the class what Larissa would have to do to make her dream come true (meaning to wait). Alexcia answered, "Drink milk!"

My kindergarten class had just finished a math word problem. I asked them why I had used women for the pictures to be drawn. One child answered, " Because it's Women's Mystery Month!"

In the morning I had spoken with my class for the umpteenth time about responsibility. I told them that I was in a good mood and wanted to stay that way and to please help me by doing the right thing so that I wouldn't have to yell. In the afternoon, we were practicing songs for our upcoming performance and most of the kids (my class plus one other - 40 in all) weren't paying attention. I yelled. When the others left I said in a disappointed tone, "So, I had to yell." The kids (3 or 4) said that I had not yelled. When I asked incredulously what they meant. They insisted that I had not yelled - I had screamed. The difference? Yelling is telling people what to do in a loud voice. Screaming is the same but higher pitched (crazy-like). OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa writes, "I work in a preschool and one of my 4 yr olds said to me one day: 'Did you know that ants live for 9 yrs unless you step on them?' " Thanks, Melissa!!
Laura writes: One day just before lunch a child came to me and said "Yorwa, I'm so tired today my hair even hurts." I just told him that he could take a nice long nap and everything would be fine when he woke up, and it was. :) Thanks, Laura!

Another great one from Laura:

One day after nap,I was helping the children get their shoes on. One boy had put them on the wrong feet. I told the child that they were on the wrong feet. He just broke out crying, saying he didn't have any other feet. After I explained to him that he just had to change his shoes around he was great.
Thanks again, Laura!
Teresa sent this me this jewel! Thanks, Teresa!

One of my kindergarten students walked out of the bathroom with an amazed look on her face . When I asked her what was up she responded "you know Mrs. Miller our music teacher"? I responded "yes". "Well guess what! She goes potty TOO! Really, I just saw her go in to the bathroom"!!!!! ( I guess they think that we don't ever need to use the restroom)
Laura sent me this one!! Thanks, Laura!

While camping this summer,my 6 year old daughter kept asking if she could lay in the "hamper". It took me several minutes to figure out she was talking about the hammock that was tied to the trees a few feet from our tent.
Sharie sent me these great quotes!! Thanks, Sharie!

Kindergarten homeschool funny--After a unit on the 5 senses this conversation happened: I got out a book to read and Isaac said, "I don't want you to read that to me." I said, "I'm going to read it to Sophia." He said, "But I don't want to hear it." "Don't listen." "I can't." "Why not?" "Because I have ears!"

Once when my son was 4 years old he was picking his nose and I told him to get a tissue. "That's all right," he said. "They're just little ones. The big one is downstairs on the wall!"

We spent a week in Florida the first week of February. While driving home from the airport (in Kentucky, cold and dreary) Isaac asked, "What happened to the trees??" He had gotten used to the greenery and palm trees of Florida, that he forgot our are brown and "dead" in the winter!
John sent in this jewel! Thanks, John!

My 5 year old asked me one day if we will all be able to understand each other's language up in Heaven. I told her, "I think we'll be able to understand each other in someway." She continued, "You mean I'll understand Spanich and Lima Bean?" I knew that Spanich was Spanish, but I couldn't figure out "Lima Bean". So, I politely told her that Lima Bean was a vegetable, not a different language. Her response, "Yes it is. You know Uncle Rick's girlfriend- she speaks Lima Bean!" (She's from the Philippines.)
Medawinks sent in these great kid's sayings! Thanks!

My three year old daughter was very pleased to get in the bathtub along with her blankets and her dog one stormy April night when the tornado sirens were going off. She loved sitting and singing by candlelight. A few weeks later when she was bored and I had not been paying much attention to her one on one, she announced, " Mommie, "A tomato is coming and we need to go wait for it in the bathroom!"

This same little girl had been dawdling while getting dressed for preschool and had not yet put her shoes on when it was time to leave. I told her to put them on in the car. she obediently picked them up and walked out to the garage and walked to the front wheel of the car and asked me, " Mommie, you mean on the wheels? They won't fit cuz my shoes are too small."
Dana sent in this little jewel! Thanks, Dana!

I teach in an inner city school. Most of my students are hispanic. The students do not get to go to many major sporting events. Until this year, most of them never heard of hockey. One of the pro hockey players was coming to our school, so to prepare for his visit, the p.e. teachers started playing hockey with the children and I revolved most of my lessons around the NHL team closest to us. We even went to watch the team practice. After practice one of the players came over to talk to the kids. (The same one who had previously been to our school.) He was not wearing any shoes and one of my boys asked him why someone who gets to be on TV has broken socks. (They used the word broken a lot instead of torn or ripped). A few months later, the player came back to our school. The same student asked him if he came this time with unbroken socks!
Cecilia sent in this little jewel! Thanks, Cecilia!

We had been planting seeds and observing them for about a week. I was reading a wonderful book about gardening to my pre-k class. As I read a book I often ask questions. We came to a part about weeding the garden. I asked "Does anyone know what weeds are?" To my utter surprise quiet little Abby answered, "My brother smokes weed." I had to think for a second on what to say back, "Honey, that is a different kind of weed" is all I could think to get out. My assistant was cracking up, covering her mouth, sitting back behind the children. Children sure tell it how it is.
Mona submitted these great quotes--Thanks, Mona!

The librarian asked a kindergarten child to be quiet in the library, because people can't read. The child said, "If they can't read, why are they in the library?"

A teacher (me) asked her first reading group to *look up* after they had read the first page quietly to themselves. After glancing at the lesson plan and then looking back up at the children, she was shocked to see that they were all gazing at the ceiling.

Sillynition: What is the name of that prickly plant that doesn't need much water? The child said, "A cactapuss".

In this country you can only have one wife or one husband. What do you call that? The child said, "Monotony".
Cecelia submitted this great story--Thanks, Cecilia!

It had a been one of those very long PMS kind of days and I just wasn't feeling myself all day. I could tell me nerves were just shot and I was beginning to notice that I was becoming a little impatient with some of my more challenging children in class. I decided to sit down at my desk for 3 minutes and write out a short list of why I needed to stay focused. My own therapy session, you could say. As I sat and wrote, a sweet precious little guy named Austin came over to me and just looked at me. I asked him nicely what I could do for him. He just gave me this big huge grin and said "Are you writing in your Diarrhea? That's what my mommy does when she is sad." Perked me right up and made my day. Of course, I knew he meant Diary. They sure know when your feeling down.
Nicole submitted this great story--Thanks, Nicole!

I have two daughters (3 years apart) and we are always working on sharing things. One day while driving, my oldest said from the back seat, "Mom, Madeleine (then 2 1/2 years old) is picking her nose and putting it in her mouth!" My response was, in the most disgusted voice, "Madeleine!". Not quite understanding what Taylor and I were so upset about, she innocently stuck her finger in Taylor's direction and asked "Wanna' bite?". I've never laughed and gagged at the same time like that before. It's one I can't wait to embarrass her with some day when she's older!
Jennifer submitted this great story--Thanks, Jennifer!

I am currently student teaching and was at a Judo Seminar helping the Sensei teach. One of the five year olds was sitting on the floor, not doing the exercises with the rest of the children. Sensei, who's usually quite serious, went over to him and asked him why he wasn't working. He looked up at Sensei very seriously and said, "I have a headache in my foot." Even Sensei couldn't keep from laughing!!

Joe submitted this great story--Thanks, Joe!

I was teaching a class of 6th graders back in 1970 when they were given a short assignment to write about their favorite subject in school. One cotton-haired little boy wrote, "I like science. In science we study animals, people, and incest." (Of course he meant insects.)
Lynda submitted this great story--Thanks, Lynda!

I was teaching primary and my birthday was listed on the wall with the kids. When it came to my birthday, they asked me how old I was. Every year I say 16 because 16 sounds old to 5 year olds. Emma came up to me and said,"You're not 16." I said, "Why do you think that Emma?" Emma took my hand and very innocently said, "Because you have old looking skin on your hands. You don't have young looking skin like me." Her mother was very embarrassed when I related the incident. I told her not to be because Emma was the first child who ever noticed how much older my skin looked than hers.

Andrea submitted this great story--Thanks, Andrea!

This is a funny from a 2nd grade class . .. . We were learning about Martin Luther King, Jr., and had made a mobile of important dates in his life. One of my cute 2nd graders looked at me & said, "Look, Mrs. Zerbib, they put his phone number on here!", (1929 - 1968)!!! :)

Tamara submitted this great story--Thanks, Tammara!

I'm a preschool teacher and one of my recently turned 5 year olds told me that "I am five and very passionate about it". I asked her what that word meant and she responded "well it's when your really good at something and I am good at being 5 now". too too cute.

Another by Tamara: Today we were outside and a four year old girl said she had a headache and if she shook her head really really hard and then really really softly it would go away. Instead she said she got really really dizzy and she must sit down.

Here's another Jewel!!!

I had just recently had my fourth child, when we were visiting a pet store and my four year old son "Kyle" was admiring the fish and he said "remember when the hospital put Ashley in one of those". TO HIM THE FISH TANK LOOKED LIKE THE ISOLETTE!! LOL :)

I intern in a 5th grade classroom and we were discussing how to space lines apart from each other when writing their stories so if they make mistakes they can write things in. (drafting) One boy, with a confused face, looks up and says "Does that mean we have to mess up on purpose?"

Submitted by: Nicole--Thanks!

Julie sends in this great quote!!---Thanks!
In my preschool class at church, my son walks up to me and says "Mommy I have Jesus in my heart you know." and I said "That's great honey!" And with a big smile on his face and his fists in the air, he said "Yeah! and if anyone tries to get him out, I'm gonna beat him up!!!" I just couldn't help but get a giggle out of it. He'd gotton the idea of what our lesson was about, but we need to work on it still ;-)
Ronda sends in this great quote!!---Thanks!
A cute little story l`d like to share for your fun and humour section: Well it was during the Christmas season my husband was asking my 4 year old son to tidy up his toys from the floor before he had his bedtime snack. After many reminders and still no action, my husband again asked him to tidy up, so my son reluctantly stood up picked up a few toys and and as he walked by my husband, sang to himself, "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch". We never laughed so hard as he left the room. I wrote this one down as a keeper for when he gets older....haha
Kelly writes, "A cute quote for you...My 2&1/2 yr old was in the garage with me and he saw a spider. When he showed it to me I told him that was a Daddy-long-leg. A couple of hours later in the house he said, "Mommy, are you a Mommy-long-leg?" Too cute! This IS what motherhood is all about! Thanks for site. Great laughs and alot of smiles." Thanks, Kelly!
Ms. Cil writes, "Like every Christmas day my sister calls me to say Merry Christmas and my 4 yr old niece runs down through the list of items she got from Santa. Kylie relays her list in detail..."I got 4 baby dolls, a stroller for my babies, a new game, some shirts, coloring books, lots of markers, a Diarrhea book"... (I immediately started laughing knowing it was a diary) She got mad quickly at my laughter and said that she wasn't done telling me what else she had got and that I was being rude. They are so cute sometimes! Especially when they are dead serious in their tone." Thanks, Ms. Cil!
Stephanie writes, "I'm student teacher in a Kindergarten class... One day I took the Kindergarten class to the mailbox at the corner of the school to mail Valentine's day post cards for their parents. One by one they were putting their post cards into the box. I told one of the students that already mailed her letter to wait on the sidewalk until the whole class was finished because it was a busy street. She replied, "I can't wait there teacher, there is a sign there that says "No Stopping or Standing Anytime". Thanks, Stephanie!
After coming out of Church one Sunday my 5 year old nephew sighed and said, "well, I don't know... how come I never see him?" I said, "See who?" He replied "the prairie tortoise" - after I racked my brains for about a week...I realised, he was confused when the priest said "Let's say 'the prayer He taught us....'"

Another time a friend in Dublin told me her son had come out of Church feeling very sorry for "Gladly - the Cross-eyed Bear"... the words of the hymn are actually "Gladly the Cross I Bear" - do we adults need to improve our diction? from Cathy, Cheshire, England--thanks, Cathy!
I teach pre-k. Once after an activity with the children's shoes off a child came to me to tie her shoes. I kindly told her that her shoes were on the wrong feet, to which she responded "that's okay. My socks are on the wrong feet, too."

Submitted by Melissa--thanks!
I currently teach reading to grades 7-12. (I can teach other grades too, depends upon where I am needed.) I was working at the public school where my bright, though silly daughter attended school in the second grade. On her first day there she met one of our neighbor's children, a sixth grader named Ilene. Upon hearing this name, my daughter was fascinated. "Really?" she asked, "In which direction?" The grown-up were amused, Ilene was not, my daughter was confused.

Submitted by Bobbi Jean

I currently teach reading to grades 7-12. (I can teach other grades too, depends upon where I am needed.) I was working at the public school where my bright, though silly daughter attended school in the second grade. On her first day there she met one of our neighbor's children, a sixth grader named Ilene. Upon hearing this name, my daughter was fascinated. "Really?" she asked, "In which direction?" The grown-up were amused, Ilene was not, my daughter was confused.

Submitted by Bobbi Jean

Deb sent me the following "jewels"!! Thanks, Deb!

Kira 5 yrs 7/7/98 Mom mentioned to Dad that Kira’s hair was turning darker and Dad said he wanted to watch. Kira runs outside to her friends and yells “Ha Ha – you guys can’t watch my hair turn brown!”

Kira 5yrs Philip 8yrs 7/98 Kira and Philip were playing with dice, each of them had (1) die, and Dad tried to explain that one is a die, and more are dice. The next day Kira got up & couldn’t find hers. She asked “where is my dead?”

Philip 8yrs 7/98 Philip was reminding mom that Max (our dog) needed his shot, you know, the one he gets every year to control his anger (distemper)!!

Philip 4 yrs 4/94 Philip announced during a trip that he would like to invent a car that could go as fast as the “Sound of Music”…. I concur!

Philip 9yrs 10/?/99 – Mom got a call at work, from Philip’s 4th grade teacher… seems Philip isn’t doing his best in school because… per Philip…”he is going blind… and he doesn’t care”!! Mom assured Mrs. S. that Philip wasn’t “going blind”, and that his eyes were bad, but were being taken care of regularly; and he would be fine!! Philip had her fairly convinced that he really WAS going blind!

Philip 9yrs 11/11/99 Philip – "Mom, you know what? You know what’s in my rock box? It’s top secret, I just gotta show you"!

Kira 7yrs 5/2001 – Kira – The morning following the great nightcrawler hunt training; it was very wet outside and there were several very large crawlers on the driveway. Kira pronounced that they must be daycrawlers!

Philip 11 yrs 6/29/2001 - Philip asks Mom; Mom, can I ask you a question? "Sure." Why does everybody wear underwear? I mean; what's the point? "Uhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm." Classic "Mom" answer: Cause I said so!

Kira 9yrs 10/?/02 Kira gets serious with mom… “Mom… I really wanna be a veterinarian, I really love ALL animals, but I can’t be one, cause they don’t eat meat, and I Like Meat!!

Wendy writes, "I was teaching a 2 year old pre-school class and spotlighted a 'star of the week'. We asked the parents of the chosen child to put together a display of pictures of their child and some of their favorite things.(pictures of the child and their family, favorite foods, colors, basically... whatever they wanted to show and tell their friends about) One mom came in to deliver the poster that she and her 2 1/2 year old son had put together because he was the star of the week, and the mom said that she was dying to tell me the funniest thing her son had said when she was showing him the picture of her pregnant with him... She explained to him that he was in her belly and that they could use this picture because it was the very first picture they had of him. She told me that he looked at her with the most confused expression and in a very serious voice asked her "Mommy, did you eat me!?!" I never did ask her what her answer was.... but that one has stuck in my mind for years. I still laugh when I think about it!"

Danielle writes, "I have a story for your quote page. I was interning in 5th grade and I couldn't help but notice how excited the students were to see you outside the classroom. One night close to Christmas, I was getting my boyfriend to help me carry an artificial tree up the stairs to our classroom around 7pm. As it happened there was a Karate class just getting ready to leave and one of my students, as per usual, was excited at the chance to see me in regular clothes and say hi. The very next morning he came bouncing into the classroom exclaiming "Ms. Jacobs! I saw you last night! And I saw Mr. Jacobs too!" Well, I laughed so hard. I guess he just assumed that I was married! My boyfriend didn't find it so funny. I still occasionally tease him by calling him Mr. Jacobs!" :)

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